It’s 10 Megatons of fun as your host looks into the geo-political free-for-all that is the Iranian-Israeli-American staredown! Learn about the military realities and different ideologies that are in play.
Running Time: 13:50
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I underwent a very unfortunate experiment, with myself as the lab rat. No, I’m not talking about the time I tried to create a Tesla reactor and strapped jumper cables to my nipples…I’m talking about a psychological experiment.
The self-inflicted torture in question was 30 minutes of subjection to Palestinian propaganda. Some might say that would merely be listening to some hooded thug wave an AK-47 and talk about how many Jews he’d like to kill if he could just move out of his parents basement. No, I mean the real sinister stuff.
Cartoons.
In what can only be described as criminally psychotic, these cartoons were intent on programming into children a mindset of self-victimization, justifiable murder, and hatred towards Jews of the likes that made me burn with the fire of a thousand suns.
Jews are portrayed as murderers who simply kill for pleasure and drink the blood of children…which is very disturbing to watch, even if it is animation. Palestinians are portrayed as innocents merely defending themselves against the “occupiers”. During kids shows, actors dressed as the IDF simply shoot a puppet character to make a point to the kids…who are completely unable to filter reality from absolute BS.
By the time it was done, I was a mite perturbed. Later in the day a cashier asked me if I was going to pay cash or debit for a pack of Juicy Fruits and I over-reacted by accusing her of being a stinking anti-semite, and proceeded to interrogate her with questions about world banks and the media…all while people waited impatiently behind me, hoping for the security guard to wake up. I then tore off my shirt, drew a Star of David on my chest with her permanent marker, yelled “NEVER AGAIN!” in Hebrew ( or “how are your feet yesterday?”…my Hebrew is a work in progress), and ran out the front doors.
I think I made my point.
But seriously, I’m a person stuck in a very split worldview. On one hand I acknowledge that I do indeed believe in a day when Yeshua will return and kick the idiocy out of this world like an Australian rugby player on his seventh cup of expresso.
However…
Until then I also believe that there will be no peace between Israel and the Palestinians. Not in my lifetime, and not in my kids. Not when the next generation is being groomed for such pure, unfiltered hatred. A generation fed false history, false victimhood, and an attitude that will never allow concessions. What they are doing to their own children is beyond vile. Is is psychological molding in its purest, most twisted form.
Until the Palestinians can love their own children more than they hate Jews, there will be no peace.
For something that is only a ten minute workout, you’d be more than a little surprised what you can get out of Tony Horton’s 10 Minute Trainer.
Now before anyone asks, “you mean I can get ripped and fit with only 10 minutes a day!!??”, allow me to clarify.
No stupid, you can’t.
However, you can maintain a certain level of fitness due to Tony’s method called “Super Stacking”, meaning you work multiple muscle groups at the same time. The kit comes with 8 routines and three medium resistance workout bands.
The workouts are as follows: (1) Total Body; (2) Cardio; (3) Lower Body; (4) Yoga Flex; (5) Total Body 2; (6) Core Cardio; (7) Upper Body; (8) Abs Routine.
Some routines are better than others naturally. For example, I do the 10 minute Ab routine quite frequently, as it is an absolute gut killer.
The program recommends doing several a day, and not just getting your fat ass off the couch for a mere ten minutes, before going back to your potato chips and case of Bud Light. Which brings me to the second aspect of this program…the diet.
It should be no mystery that the secret weapon in any of Tony’s ( or any reputable program ) workouts is the diet guide. Say goodbye to Kentucky Fried Chicken and a diet cola kids! You’ll be snacking on clean food from now on!
I picked this workout up for several reasons: First, I’m heavy into P90X and Insanity which I usually do at 6am. My wife has much more sensible sleeping habits and therefore is crunched for time more. The 10 minutes work great for her, and she gets a better burn than if she just did a random half hour of working out.
And me? Well, there are the occasional workouts I love to go back to. Yoga Stretch and 10 Minute Abs are my chosen two.
As always, one asks…“What’s Tony like in this?”. He occasionally has some fun banter, but nothing over the top. He’s getting a lot in in just 10 minutes, so the chatter gets down to business more than anything.
If you’re crunched for time, don’t own a set of dumbbells, and want to maintain or begin a workout regimen, you may want to give 10 Minute Trainer some serious consideration. I’ll give it 3.8 starts out of 5 ( couldn’t decide between 3.5 and 4! ), but keep in mind I’m not grading intensity. I’m grading convenience, usefulness, and product design. This is nowhere near the level of P90X or Insanity, but it fills a vital role nonetheless.
As with any workout, the intensity is only something you can bring!
It’s the Watchtower Society and their Clone Army, the Jehovah’s Witnesses! Follow one Christian through his comical misadventures with this infamous group.
Running Time 11:53
Leave it to Steve Jobs to fire up the reality distortion field and have us drooling over the next big thing from Apple. If Obama can time the bombing of Iranian nuclear facilities at the same time as an Apple Keynote address, we’d never know what our governments were up to.
Apple has done more than pump out new devices that initially get laughed at by the competition…which in turn are immediately copied in a confused state of panic that resembles the 3 Stooges disarming a bomb. The company is single handedly responsible for taking stuff like garageband music and podcasting and making it mainstream.
So, after sitting through the keynote address, what do I think?
I think when Steve Jobs runs out of black turtlenecks, it will signal the end of the world. Matter will implode upon itself, and we’ll awake in an alternate universe governed by talking carrots and powered by Commodore 64’s. You can’t argue with science.
The iPad is a intended to be a cross between the iPhone and a MacBook. It looks like a Star Trek touchpad, and does what Netbook PC’s have constantly failed to do. It is fast, intuitive, sleek, intuitive, convenient size, and intuitive. Did I mention intuitive?
Some features include WiFi, bluetooth, and optional 3G. It can sync with iPhoto, iTunes, use a special version of iWork, and play games…just to name a few.
Base models start at $499US. Not bad at all.
What online music did to hard copy music sales, it’s very possible the iTablet will do to paperbacks. Newspapers, books…it will be a one stop library, video centre, music storage, and hordes of Apps. This might…just MIGHT…be the hand of salvation to todays epileptic newspaper and media industry. That is unless they blow it like they have every other opportunity put before them by sanitizing content.
That’s the key for the iPAD. Tablet PC’s have been around for some time. What Apple is doing is supplying an easily accessible medium for the message. That is why the iPod sells like free sex, and the Zune sold like bulk ostrich manure.
If this goes as predicted, we may have another industrial revolution on the horizon.
Earthquakes notwithstanding, you have to wonder at times why a nation in prime vacation territory has such a hard time getting it together. My own church sends workers and whole youth teams to assist in Haiti year after year but it’s almost as if it comes to nothing.
What are we missing here? If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear those capable of fixing the problem actually don’t want it fixed.
Many people…good hearted and well intentioned people…are rushing to help in the wake of Haiti’s devastating earthquake. Yet few seek the reasons for the rampant poverty, and fewer still are able to act upon their knowledge.
Take Sudan for example. We all want to help the poor in Sudan, but we need to ask ourselves WHY things are the way they are. In Sudan, corruption, and Islamic crap-de-jour are pretty much screwing it up for everyone. The Sudanese government doesn’t need assistance. They need an ass kicking.
As with any national problem, clues can be found if you simply follow two things: the money AND the ideology.
Which brings me back to Haiti. Millions…scratch that…BILLIONS have been poured into this nation in the last decade and it has done next to nothing. Where has it gone? Answer: Government corruption.
And as for the ideology, we must also reconsider the embargo against Haiti.
At the time, President Clinton inherited limited sanctions aimed at weakening the regime that overthrew democratically elected President Jean-Bertrand Aristide in 1991. In the spring of 1994, they became an embargo that prevented all goods from entering Haiti except humanitarian supplies, crippling the economy.
The regime finally fell when Clinton ordered U.S. troops to prepare for an invasion of the country in September 1994 and the coup leaders stepped down. Aristide returned to power, only to be ousted again in a 2004 rebellion and depart for Africa aboard a U.S. plane. Never thought I’d side with Clinton. There’s a first for everything I guess.
Since then attempts to revive the economy have been derailed by natural disasters, infrastructure failures and civil unrest.
Now, with the current Haitian government weakened…at least temporarily…perhaps true aid can get to these people without going through the corrupt Haitian governments filter. And maybe…maybe…the Haitian people can trade-up in the quality of their worthless leadership in the process.
Well, the first episode is off to the presses. Always a hot topic, the Emergent Church now suffers at the hands of the Dysfunctional Parrot.
Who are these people who seem to have such a chip on their shoulder? Take a light hearted look into the latest post-modern fad to hit the church!
Running Time 13:18
** This is the inaugural episode, so it is not as refined or “loose” as later podcasts **
It’s been in the works for a little while now, but I’m finally able to announce the arrival of the Dysfunctional Parrot Podcast…a monthly commentary on today’s news, politics and religion from the studio ( aka. laundry room in the basement ) of yours truly.
Subscription is available in iTunes, or you can listen to the show at:
dysfunctionalparrot.podbean.com
Be a forgiving audience, as I’m using this a means of working on my orator skills!
Few things in life strike terror into the heart of man quite like a sewer main collapse. Visions of vast sums of money and ruined yards are common visions that come to mind.
Relax, because they’re not true. Ha! You wish. Not only are they true, but they won’t even begin to describe your approaching trials. Welcome to my nightmare. I’m here to tell you my story.
Last Wednesday the signs began. A slight backup in the basement. After a call to city utilities it was quickly diagnosed that my sewer main had gone to that big chuck-wagon in the sky.
And that’s when the contractors came. Upon great, pale iron horses they came. Oh, the horror.
It was decided ( by them ) that the job would be about $3500. Sigh. Kiss family vacation goodbye this year. At least it wasn’t a 10K financial disaster like it could have been.
So at 8:30 am on Monday, days after showering in a bucket like Jed Clampet and “seeing a man about a horse” in ways too horrible to describe, salvation was at last on my doorstep. Everyone had a get together in the front yard, a big plumber group hug and a fist-bump, and then proceeded to take a back-hoe and rip up my front lawn.
Not a problem. The hole wasn’t THAT big. But I was so young earlier in the day. So naive. The next few hours would age me considerably.
At 10:00 my new friends have coffee and danishes over the twitching corpse of my front lawn. Probably talking about how they’ll spend the money I’m forking over on cocaine and strippers.
Then at 11:00, they put the camera down the pipes. It’s now a cocktail party with everyone invited. Then begins the laughing at the incoming images. That’s not good. No, that’s NEVER good.
After the comedy-fest, the theme music to Deliverance is heard as I’m informed that my pipe requires more, well, pipe. I squeal like a piggie as another 1K goes down the crapper. Any puns loose their humor at this point. I immediately call down the wrath of God on them but the good Lord has forsaken me. And now they’re just looking at me uncomfortably.
Then ( it just never friggin’ stops ) I discover that the city side requires replacement as well. Financially this is no problem as the city will incur all expenses on their side of the property line. But my front yard will suffer a fate worse than Pat Robertson during an audience with Nero Ceasar. The best I can hope for is the reassurance they will at least do the landscape repair on their side. And who knows…maybe I can talk them into doing my side as well if I can convince my wife to show them a little leg in return.
After getting one of their toys stuck in the line, and downing a few more danishes ( it’s like they’re all Jughead with bottomless stomachs ), I’m informed the completed job will take another day. Possibly two. My bowels cry. Images of merry old England and dumping sewer onto the open street come to mind. I’m not sure I’m comfortable with being the cause of the next great plague. Or maybe I am. I have mixed feelings about humanity right now.
The city side is now a complete disaster, and all I can do it watch and wait while taking some small comfort in the fact that at least I’ve paid my part. And I never really was getting a handle on my dandelion problem. Who’ s laughing now you noxious little weed?!! Who’s “sniff” laughing “sob” now?
So after the nerve-wracking day, I’m a shadow of my former self. My stomach churns, my bank account hates my stinking face and in all likelihood I now suffer from erectile dysfunction. At least they rigged a temporary sump for me to take care of my household “business” overnight. But if nobody minds, your friendly neighborhood parrot is going to try and sleep this one off!
Obama Kills Constellation Program
Published February 2, 2010 POLITICS , Technology 6 CommentsTags: ares, commentary, constellation, nasa, news, obama, opinion, orion, POLITICS, Richard Branson
Just like that, President Obama has terminated the Constellation Program designed to put astronauts back on the lunar surface by 2020.
The president said Constellation was draining resources from other US space agency activities. He plans instead to turn to the private sector for launch services.
“While we’re canceling Constellation, we’re not canceling our ambitions,” said Jim Kohlenberger, chief of staff at the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy (OSTP), and Government Stooge ( GS ) who knew what to say if he valued his job.
“This isn’t a step backwards. I think the step backwards was trying to recreate the Moon landings of 40 years ago using largely yesterday’s technology, instead of game-changing new technology that can take us further, faster and more affordably into space.” That says a lot, and says nothing.
While I’m not a member of the bureaucratic elite…I think it’s safe to say that everyone just sort of ASSUMED going back into space required a, gee, I dunno…a rocket perhaps? I’m all for warp speed and photonic pulse drives if it helps me fight hair loss…but that stuff is a long, long way off.
Critics claimed the program was never properly funded, and when it ran into technical difficulties its time schedule also began to slip. Again, I’ve yet to encounter a project where that wasn’t the case. It’s a rocket, not next years’ Honda Civic.
My son will be disappointed, as he waited for a week to see the Ares rocket test flight not that long ago. I guess now I’ll tell him the good news however…that you won’t need years of training to be an astronaut, or be ex-military. He’ll just have to align himself with people of vision.
In other words, send a resume to Richard Branson.
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